If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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