Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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