oh god the rape fog is back!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
