margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
