Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
pray to the hookup gods
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
