Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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