so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
