Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Randomize
