He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
