im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My pussy is not your playground.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
