okay pat passed out under dana's car
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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