try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
