if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
