I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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