I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
accomplished twins. life is a go
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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