He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize