I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
