i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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