just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
