i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
