oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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