I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
