He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
