singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
