you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
