Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Be still, my beating vagina.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
