his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
