somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
