fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
