FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
