We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Can Purell be used as lube?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
