I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
