Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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