I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
