Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
