If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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