It's Friday. Sex?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize