hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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