Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
