What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he fucked my hip out of place.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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