Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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