If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
