yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
