I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
