those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Life is so much better after having sex.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
