just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
