I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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