Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
