I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
