Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
